Torn in two...

My heart is torn in two for two reasons....
Firstly, my heart ripped apart the first time I saw pictures of this devastation.  Sheer pain is the only way to describe how I feel.  My community is suffering so greatly.  I watched this tornado live as it moved across the horizon on Wednesday...I had no idea of the damage it was doing to my city.  Our mayor today, in a response as he was being interviewed by FOX, said that 1/7 of our city is GONE.  It is just GONE!  Leveled!  It truly looks like a bomb went off and it is SO BAD that is doesn't seem real.
Secondly, my heart is torn between the grief I feel for the victims and the gratefulness I feel that IT WASN'T ME!  I live a mere 10 miles from the path of the tornado.  It wouldn't have taken a whole lot for the tornado to have veered closer to our house.
I took my daughter for a walk in our neighborhood this afternoon.  You would never guess that just a few miles away...they are conducting a search and rescue effort for other people's loved ones.  I find myself praying over and over for God's comfort for those people.  I can't begin to fathom their pain.  I watched a video of photos from the aftermath put together with Casting Crown's "Praise You in the storm" song in the background...I cried for the whole video.  I am still in shock...I'm just now beginning to mourn.  I know God is bigger than this.  I know His strength will uphold this city.  I know that those of us that still have our homes and families need to be strong for those of us that don't.  Me and my city are forever changed by this.  The face of Tuscaloosa will never be the same and my heart will never be the same.  I will praise Him in this storm.  I pray that His glory and mercy shows brightly and His arms hold on tightly to those hurting.